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Well, I definitely missed Thursday’s post. Shame about that. Unfortunately, the thing about not having power due to an ice storm makes posting things difficult.

02/10/14

The worse part is feeling like you’re alone. That no one else can possibly understand what it is that you’re going through. And, sure, my friends don’t really get the drive behind writing. It’s a passion. So, they aren’t supposed to. Just like I don’t understand the drive behind, I don’t know—drinking. But, somewhere between “I don’t know enough to care” and “I don’t care” is caring. Because they care enough to ask, even if they can’t possibly understand.

There are people who say that “everything is amazing,” all the while lying through their teeth because that’s the only way to keep their spirits high and if they don’t keep them inflated, then they fall off a cliff.

So, there was this balancing act. The one between telling people who cared enough to satiate them and then the complaining, which was sort of an over saturation of things that no one really wanted to listen to. Because, the words being spoken were more than anyone could possibly say and everyone understood, on a certain level, if they cared enough. And those were the people who needed to. Or who wanted to. Even if they wouldn’t or couldn’t say it.

Laying on his bed, Tobias stretched out on his back and stared at the ceiling. Curled up beneath the worn comforter, Josephine tickled him with her toes. Tobias paused his musings to consider her.

Where did she lay in the spectrum?

“What is it?” she asked.

Ah, there it was, the asking without knowing if you wanted toe full explanation. And, even if you did, not knowing if you could handle it or the frequency with which it must be addressed.

“You don’t think this song is depressing?” She nodded towards the computer, which played “Tea and Toast” over and over on repeat.

He could see what she meant. The words and questions within the obvious statement. A song about the love of a cuople and the unfortunate circumstances that birthed him. And then, his wife unexpected dying of a heart attack.

“Nah,” said Tobias. “I think it’s romantic.”

Josephine grimaced affectionately. “I knew you’d say that. It’s depressing, and I know why, but tell me anyway.”

Tobias rolled over, collecting his thoughts as his considered her. “Because,” he took her hand, enjoying the softness of her fingers, “they get 40 more years.”

“But she died. That’s so sad.”

Tobias only smiled. “Only if you look at it that way.”

Thoughts: Not really sure what this scene is, or what it means. It’s not involved in any story at the moment. Maybe it never will be. For those curious, “Tea and Toast” is a real song, written and performed by Lucy Spraggan. I first heard it on the UK X-Factor. Definitely depressing, but definitely also romantic.

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