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Not everything needs to be a pun. Though, apparently, writing puns and funny jokes seems to be one of the unwritten rules of blogging. Maybe that’s because the gimmick seems to attract readers. Unfortunately, that’s not my style, save for rare, highly inappropriate and no PC moments with my brother. Also, I don’t exactly have many readers as it is, so I don’t feel the pressure. Still, there’s something to be said about puns.

But wait, that’s not really what I wanted to say. (What I want to say may end up being an angry rant, but sure, that’s okay once in a while) You know that old mathematical parable, that if you only ever take half a step forward, you’ll never get where you’re going, just infinitely closer? Yes? No. Okay, no. Here’s the thing, that’s a little what it feels like right now for me.

Each time I think I’m making progress, I realize just how much more there is to fix. I’m not sure that’s a healthy conceit, just that it exists. In order…

  • writing the book
  • realizing I needed an agent
  • realizing that the book needed severe editing
  • working on the query
  • working on the synopsis

These all take time. And, each time I realized they needed to happen, the wall was insurmountable. Sort of like staring at the frozen ice wall in the north from A Song of Ice and Fire. Seems impossible but someone’s got to do it. Or I suppose I could just are off into the stance and admire it’s grand nature. But then I think I’d just regret that for my entire life.

My father tends to under estimate how long a project will take. Mostly, that’s because he’s very efficient and good at what he does. However, if he says it’ll take me an hour to mow the lawn, I know that realistically (and from experience) the process is much more likely to take 2 hours. Thus the comparison to each step I just laid out. I wanted to get things in shape by the end of summer. It’s now fall. I’ve spent three weeks working on a query letter and synopsis. Almost there. But that’s certainly much longer than my hopes of a week or two.

See, there are two flaws in my logic. The first is that physically writing take a while for me. Typing line by line doesn’t take half an hour. It takes three. Part of that’s my creative process and trying to get the words right. Other parts are my carpel tunnel. Either way, my estimates are normally very very wrong.

The second major flaw is letting myself get overwhelmed and, often, listening to advice from too many people. Often, I go asking for that advice, from people who aren’t necessarily any better qualified then me. Sometimes the advice gets thrown at me because I happened to open my mouth. Discussing what I does just invites uninformed opinions, no matter how well meaning.

There’s a difference between buckling down and speeding through a project, just as there’s a difference between procrastination and  taking the necessary time. I can’t be the person who sits at a desk for 8 hours a day, straight. That stifles whatever creativity I have. The result is that I’m not nearly as efficient as I hope but, since I’m aware of what’s happening, it’s not an entirely unexpected problem.

There are days when I can sit and just work. Unfortunately, those days almost always get interrupted by friends and family. I guess in terms of work, they’re mostly dead weight. If that seems disheartening, it’s also true. Efficiency takes a dive when anyone else is around. With people around, it’s impossible to concentrate. They also have the seriously unfortunate habit of showing up at the completely wrong times. Maybe not always, but that’s how it seems.

I need a room I can lock and concentrate in. This whole sharing an apartment with no isolated work space is a drag.

Either way, I think that I just need to, as horrible as this sounds, just start ignoring my friends and family more. They’re interfering in a time when I don’t need their, however well intentioned, interference. Harsh, but it’s a step that needs to be taken. If I keep listening to them, I’ll never get around to completing the synopsis or query to find an agent and take the next stops.